Friday, April 17, 2009

A Little/ Big Problem

This is my worst fear: Having a baby when I don't want one. I have known I haven't wanted to be a mother since I was twelve and this news is not making me very happy. Normally I'd have nothing to do with it, but now since I'm married, it's not my singular choice. I can't afford this, I don't want to take care of it, I don't want my body distorted because of it. I don't want to lose my freedom over it. I don't want to raise it so that it can hate me and blame me for all of its problems. There are so many reasons I haven't even touched on here. 
Zach wants it. I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just try to go with it for now and maybe everything will be okay, though I have a bad feeling about this. 
Please let this conceptual baby be something positive in our lives and not a major issue.

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