In short, (in character), the baby was NOT something I wanted but I had it anyways. As I'd mentioned before, the baby Wren was draining me in ways I never expected and left me only as his mom, not as Ellie the artist. He was always needing something leaving me no time for anything. Yes, I tried to sleep when he slept but I still could not do things like work on my art or look for a job. This baby is driving a wedge between Zach and I. I don't feel like I'm getting the support I need from him and he's feeling really possessive about his time with the baby. Maybe I am too, though secretly I wish Zach was able to just care for Wren on his own. Zach and I haven't had an adult conversation about anything besides the baby in forever. This is not why I married him.
Now to write out of character: There was actual tension between Zach and I in spending the day with the baby. He even at one point tried to goad me into a fight, but I didn't engage (though that just ended in a staring contest and me laughing). It's hard to actually fight because we are not there in real life, but it is easy to feel the tension a baby might bring between us.